When in the course of Human events it becomes necessary to buy smaller pants...HUH?
Sorry... but I'm wearing a pant size that is smaller than any pants I have worn since was buying my own pants...
I honestly can't remeber when I wore this size. 
For those of you who have been keeping up with my blogs, you know that I have been losing weight.  I try to eat 3 apples a day (OK... you all know that after two at work I give up and stuff my face with candy), I do Crunch's wondrful BootCamp Workout, and now that the pool is open at my complex, I swim daily...
Add to this a focused effort on consuming less calories, and in the past year I have gone from a tight 46 (and in some brands 48) waist size to my current 42.  I am guessing I'll still need 44 in some brands; but that is a HUGE improvement over over the 46/48 situation.
For those of you who don't generally shop for "fat guy" pants; you might not understand how significant this change is. 
Size 44 and up are considered "extended sizes."  Selection is severly limited, and often stores chage a few dollars more.  Beyond this, to get a true selection, one must go to a big and tall store for these sizes.  Now that I am in size 42, most major retailers stock my size. 
This shouldn't be my final size, and to truly have all pant options open to me, I need to drop into the 36-38 range for pants...But I'm truly on my way...
Add to this the fact that my wife who was trying on skirts also had to choose smaller sizes...
Anyway... Here is to Smaller Pants!
FIN

So last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I glanced in the mirror and thought, "Who is that handsome Devil?"  To Clarify; it was ME.  Yes.  That was me.  Good looking, sexy, rugged, devilishly handsome me.
From the week old scruff on my chin, to the large beautiful brown eyes; I'm am one good looking man.
Not keep in mind, this didn't help me get up on time this morning. I do remeber my alarm going off once.  I also remeber hitting the snooze... unfortuantely nine minutes later, I don't remeber the alarm going off again...
I do remeber about an hour later looking at the clock (unable to make out the numbers due to my severe nearsightedness.) I thought the first number looked a bit higher than what I needed it to be... then my lovely wife chimed in, "Oh CRAP! It's 7:30!"
For those of you who don't know, I'm usually at DAZ by 7:45.  As fast as I drive, there was no way I could make it... not to mention that my carpool meets at 7:15.
I jumped out of bed and scrambled around to find a phone.  I called Daz_Rhyno first... unfortunately he left his phone at home today... So then I tried to find Doogie (DAZ_ Cleetus)'s number on my caller ID... found it... woke up his wife (sorry.) and she said, "they just left."
SO I called Rhyno again... and woke up his wife (or perhaps she was already up, getting ready to come to my house to swim...mmm swimming... perhaps all the swimming I am doing has led to my amazing good looks...)
Anyway... Rhyno's wife informs me that he is gone, and obviously doesn't have his phone...
While I'm trying to talk to her, Doogie's wife calls back.  I have a cell phone up to one ear, and a cordless up to the other... I hang up with one and finally get Rhyno on the other...
Since I'm running late anyway; I decide to play a couple of rounds of Tetris DS before I hop in the shower. 
I don't do too well... I raise my ranking at first, but then let it drop back down...
So anyway... This brings us back to the original question--How did I get so DANG Good looking...Is it the tan from being outside?  The lost weight?  The healthy glow from swimming...?
Nope... I just am.
FIN

At first I was afraid... I was petrafied... kept think I could never live without you by my side...

HUH?

Ok.. so basically for work, I HAVE to Blog and stuff http://artzone.daz3d.com... so it has been hard ot come here after my long days and make another blog...

Anyway... I'm still alive... you can see my fun profile at www.daz3d.com under the company bios...

I will try to come here and make some more updates... and get bakc on track... but i wanted to explain my abscense...

Oh and for thems that's been looking my email addy hasn't changed... it is still teh same one i've been using for almost 10 years... the hotmail one...

FIN

Today is one of those days I wish I had a window in my office... Ok... there aren't actually many days that I DON'T wish that; but on this rainy-sleety-snowy- gray day I wish it even more.
The other day I discovered that one of my lovely children had taken my Nintendo DS stylus and jammed it into the headphone jack hole. The broken it off there. I tried to use tweezers to pull it out, but to no avail... anyway-- now if I want to hear any sound on a game, I have to use my Carrie's DS, and with Tetris DS out; she is always busy using it...
Yesterday Carrie asked the kids "Who broke Daddy's DS?"
Busbyberkly said "Oh! It's a mystery! Lets solve this case." Then she proceeded to use pillows, toys and some furniture to build a "trap."
She explained to Carrie that the "monster" would walk here, slip on this, fall here and end up trapped at the end, where they could "Pull of the mask and see who broke daddy's DS."
Maybe I let her watch a little too much Scooby-doo...
FIN

It isn't so much that I like Broccoli as much as I HATE Peas... or as they are better known--"Little Green Balls of Death."
DOn't believe me? Look at these statistics.
99.9% of people who have EVER eaten peas are DEAD.
100% of people who eat peas DIE.
over 99% of the people in the U.S. with Cancer have eaten peas.
George Washington, Abe Lincoln, John Kenndy... All famous Pea eaters. Where are they now? Dead.
Actually maybe it is that I really do Like Broccoli...hmmm

So last night my kids wanted to have "Fish and Chips" for dinner. I like Fish... I like "Chips" as well... I DON"T like the greasy smelly house AFTER cooking Fish and "Chips."
Anyway... we opened all the windows and cooked the fish and stuff... It didn't smell too bad. But we wen to Target (actually the SUPER Target) and bought some Air Freshener anyway. I also got Tetris DS... can I just say that it is the FRACKEN ROXXORS!!!
Tetris is a very simple concept that is seemingly impossible to truly improve on... but Nintendo did it... This isn't just the best Tetris game EVER, but one of the best games ever...
6 wildly different versions of Tetris, on-line and LAN play... And the "Classic" tetris mode is... shall we say... PERFECT! I only played it a short time last night (my online record is 8-1 the only loss is to someone with 211 wins and I kept it really close).

I think I may have my contact lenses in the wrong eyes... my eye are both between -7.5 and -8.0 so neither contact is really a "perfect" match, but I am supposed to put the -7.5 contact in my left eye and the -8.0 in my right as each eye is "closer" to that prescription. Well, My left eye everything is a litte clearer, and my right everythign is a littel fuzzier... hence thinking... "wrong eyes."
I used to just have both contacts at -7.5, but my right eye is now closer to the -8.0...plus my eye doctor just wanted to make my life harder...

I cut my hair... well what is left of it... last night... Not much I can do other than a buzz cut these days... I don't think a "shaved head" would look that great on me... but I'm certainly considering it...

FIN

Did you ever wonder.
That's what I thought. Really I did.
I'm sorry sir, but I'm not a psycologist. You'll need to talk to someone else... possibly with a degree in the field of Psycology...

You can't take that, this isn't a store, it's my Kitchen.
Really? Then why are all these cans stacked so neatly?
I...well... I take my time to make sure they're neat. It helps me find everything.
OH. Then can I borrow a gallon of milk?

I'm not sure what all of this


Did you ever wonder?
Mickey Mouse watch.
Really the answer to anything is "Stop, Drop and Roll."
You can get out of any situation, or solve any problem just by following those three basic fire safety steps. "Stop, Drop and Roll."

I was writing a book a while back. I can't tell you what it was about, or who I was writing it for (the nature of ghost writing dictates that as far as the world is concerned, I didn't actually write anything at all.)
The guy I was writing it for was a cold heartless jerk. I don't think I did a very good job on that one...

Last night I had Chicken potato soup. It would have been better with onions... or Leeks--which are basically mild overgrown onions anyway...

Disney Cancelled Phil of the Future. It was a great show.
I recently started replaying "Kid Icarus" for the NES. Games were just different back then.

FIN

 

 

So "they" (whomever that is) say (and "they" sure do say alot... even more than "the one guy" ) that "Nothing Tastes as good as being thin feels."
Ok... I'm not exactly THIN, nor will I probably ever be, but I am moving that direction. I am about to drop another belt hole...
Anyway...
This ominous and apparently all knowing "they" say that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Well, I am losing weight and I can think of PLENTY of things that taste better.
Hostess Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, and CupCakes Taste better.
Pringles
Pizza
Jelly Beans
Licorice
Poppyseed Bagles with Cream Cheese
Twix
Ice cream
General Tsao's Chicken
Gyoza
Fried Chicken
Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger
French Fries
I really could go on. Being thin feels like "hungry" and almost any food tastes better than that.
FIN

 

 

I now know why people shouldn't have kids when they are old.  I'm thinking, maybe I woul dhave been bettter off not born.

I'm number 5 of 6.  My paretns were both in their late 30th when I was born... They were even older when my sister .. or should I say CYSTer... was born.

Mybe it was teh residual radiation, or what not... or just old eggs...heck... maybe it was even just that fact that I was conceived so quickly after my brother was born; and my mothers body wasn't fully recovered...

In any case... I got the short end of the Genetic stick, and My younger sister did too...

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Gout... a condition usually reseverd for the old and feeble... but thanks to my old genes or whatever I got teh lovely gift of haivng it develop in my mid twenties... Today I sit with my foot again  in pain, because losing weight is one of the major triggers for a GOut attack... Nice.. I either have to stay obese and die of a heart attack, or feel like I have a broken foot every few weeks... not a great choice...This saturday I wen tto the eye doctor and found out that I have Glocoma... gret... so not only am I fat, and unable to walk, but will be blind in a few years...

Great... my Genetic inheritence is nothing if not a testiment that you should have kids eary.  While your eggs are young and your body is able to properly carry a child...

Really I am lucky I don't have Downs Syndrome, or that I'm not a cycst factory like my littel cyster...

In any case.. maybe my life ins't so bad, but as my deformed body begins to fall apart much earlier that it should I have no place to look, but at my genetic makeup... and the mistake that is me..

FIN

In honor of the holiday today, Feb. 14th, Arizona Statehood Day, we are having EL TACO NOCHE!!!!

that means eating Del Taco for DInner...

I guess we SHOULD have Chimichangas to really be authentic; but we were out at 630 and no one had eaten... Hell, all I've had all day was a slurpee, a Pepporoni pizza hot Pocket and some candy...

Anyway... we haven't actaully eaten yet...

SO why am I bloggin insteead of sitting down with my fam to enjoy our ASD meal?  Well, it is actually the car's fault.

So this afternoon, our neighbor came over and asked Carrie if she could watch her kids during the condo association home owner's meeting.  We just rent here, so aren't invited.

Anyway.... Carrie agrees and all seems fine until... TOYOTA actually calls and says that our car will be ready TODAY.

that seesm like good news EXCEPT that it won't be ready unitl 5:30 and they close at 6.

Well the Homeowners meeting starts at 5:30 so... THis all would have been fine except I didn't know about teh babysitting, and I had just finished tellign Judy that we were fine going to get teh car; no probllemo...

SO instead Carrie calls our neighbor an cancels the babysit. and we rush off to get the car.

TOYOTA of course changes their mind and doesn't ahve the car ready until 5:45 and the never actually looked at the A/C like we asked.

We didn't care at that point.  One desperate call to Carrie'$ Dad for $ome Help, and a floated check later, we are heading back over to Judy's house to drop off David's car.

We do this and move teh car seats over to our car and head. home...

I must admit the car drives MUCH better now...

and sounds better too... too bad the A/C only works on HIGH!!!

ANyway... on the way home the kids start whining about their hunger.  Tuesday is 49cent No Limit Taco night at Del Taco, so we made an executive decision and decided to pick up Del Taco.

Alll seemed well, until we pulle dup to the condos.  WE could see the owners association meeting was still going full swing.  Feeling guitly about teh last minute cancel (Carrie said she couldn't do it 10 minutes before the meeting was to start) Carrie went over to the nighbors so she could go to teh rest of the meeting... SO

I'm home alone, whilke carrie is next door with a million kids. Our food is in bags on the table and we are all hungry...

It could be worse.. we could be Canadian...

FIN

Ok.. This Weekend was odd.

First off, the vice president of teh United States, one Mr. Dick Cheny shot someone.  But he didn't just shoot them; he shot them in the FACE.  Now you know your life is bad when the Vice president of the United States shoots you in the face...

 "Uhh... sorry Rodger; I thoguht you were a bird."

National sercurity my @$$... that dood is a killer.

"Not in the face! Not in the FACE!"-- Arthur, from The TICK.

 

On Thursday, as I was riding home, I recieved a phone call from Carrie.  "I afraid to turn the car off.  It died as I pulled into the park and ride, and I'm afraid it won't start again if I turn it off."

I instructed her to turn it off anyway... she did.

I arrived at teh park and ride a short time later.  The car wasn't ON anyway... it was running off the battery-- not a good thing; so I turened it all the way off.

Even before I got to teh car, I knew it was bad though.  As I my ride pulle dinto teh parking lot, I could see thetrail of fluid, and the huge puddle under the car.

Back in Florida, we were told that we had an oil leak, so Carrie asked "Is it oil?"

"No; clearly NOT oil," I said looking at the semi-clear liquid.  A few phone calls later we had Judy, a car and a tow truck on the way to our location.

Carrie called her dad in the interm and he was nice, but coudln't make anything sudddenly work....

So anyway... Judy showed up, then the tow truck and we sent the car off to Toyota.

The next morning, my ride was nice enough to pick me up at our apartment.

I went off to work, and Carrie waited for Toyota to call-- they didn't.  Eventually, she called them and they said they would call back... again they didn't...

So she tried again.  LAte friday afternoon, they finally told Carrie that quite a few things were wrong, it would be incredibly expensive and that it wouldn't be doen until Monday.  But it would certianly be done then... (It wasn't)

Ok.. so friday night we watched the absolutely hilarious finally to Aressted Development.  Judy and David dropped by,a dn David was kind enough to offer his car until ours is fixed, or he neds his back wichever comes first...anywawy...

Then Saturday I woke up to a terrible stomach ache.  I won't go into details, but I was in the bathroom quite a great deal of time...

I did manage to play with the kids and give them a good day though...

Sunday Leah was in town, so after Church we went over to Judy's to say hi... My stomach was still upset; but the Danish Almond butter press cookies helped... mmm I wish Judy had brought some with her when she stopped by today... At least she brought us a loaf of bread instead of a gift card.  I am sick of people getting scammed by those things.  Best BUY basically STOLE $6 from Judy becasue there is no way I can really use it.

Anyway...

SO today, as I'm about to step into the shower (literally) i hear music echoing through our home...

"What the #3!! is that?!?" then I realized it was the cell phone (yes, one of the 3 we have).  So I go sprinting through the house to the kitchen and answer the phone.  It is my Carpool ride and he is SICK so can't take me... this is kinda good, becasue I was running a couple of minutes behind anyway; and without him coming I can relax.

So after teh shower, I call teh rest of the carpool,a nd we decide on a differnet driver and meeting location (strangly our meeting place was about a block from Judy's house)...

So I head up to wrok, where i alternate between excessively busy and completely bored.  feast or famine.

It has been a coupel of weeks since tehy refilled the fridge and such, so we are basically down to hot pockets and frozen burritos.  I have enough stomach problems on my own, so I skipped the frozen burrito...

anyway...

Carrie keeps calling Toyota, who keep promising to call back (they don't) until tehy finally say "Call us at five."

 

The day ends and we head home-- Ryan has a few mintues of psychotic driving, he needed to unleash, so the first mile I am left screaming in fear...

Anyway; I call Carrie to let her know that I am on the way.  Carrie has the kids at the park and says she will leave shortly to meet me.

I pull up at teh designated meeting place and ...NO CARRIE...?

So I call to make sure she is OK.  She has been a bit concerned about driving David's car; it is bigger than ours and doesn't handle as well.  SO I am worried. she is fine.. just no where near my location...

Ryan offers to wait with me, and Doogie (the other member of the carpool) offers to let me wait in his house.  I don't want to delay either of them, so I tell them I'll wait on the sid eof the road...

I walk down teh road, feelign the need for a bit of exercise and reminice about teh time Carrie left me locked outside in teh rain while she "finish(ed) this one part" of Phantasy Star Online on the Game Cube...

Eventually she arrived.  It was a littel after five, so I asked, "You were supposed to call Toyota at five, did you bring the number?"

I won't tell you her answer, but we rushed home so she could call...

They had told her to call them this time, so of course we get hme and see that they had called us...

so... we callede them back and apprently our RIppaUoffa gear was missing some spokes, so they have to wait for a part from SLC.  and tehn charge us quite a bit more money...that we don't have yet... and are waiting for the government to deposit into our account-- gotta love tax returns when you live in povery...

ANyway the moral of the story is-- Never eat anything that can taste you back.

FIN

 

Ok... because I know that everyone reading this is rabidly die hard sports fans, i don't even need to explain what the Super Bowl was or who was playing; so I will just skip that.

For a number of years, teh SUper Bowl gaine dthe reputation as THE place for new and exciting commercials.  After a few years of every company trying to top teh next, the super bowl has turned into nothing more than just a regular game. 

Coimmercials have evolved... moved on.  Now Companies buy entire episodes of shows to advertise... I know what some of you are thinking... Oh, yeah... product placement; that has been going on for a lONG time...

That IS NOT what I am talking about.  This past week the WB show Smallville was about... wait for it... ACUVUE COntact lenses.  YEP... not  kidding AT ALL.  THey even had one main character deliver the line, "Acuvue to the Rescue."

The last 5 or so minutes of the show, were actually related to teh overall story arc; but up to that point, it was just an elaborate commercail... Brilliant and much more satisfying that it just being a crappy show...

Speaking of satisfaction; during the Super Bowl Half-time show McJagger was singing and instead of singing  "And I try, and I try..." He said "and I twy, and I twy and I twy..."  I don't get it... when did he become tweety bird.  Add to this the fact that he was doing the "pee-pee" dance the whole time and I looke dlike McJagger was actually just doing a bad impression of himself...

anyway... Acuvue to the Rescue!

FIN

Back when Magellin was leading the charge on San Juan hill, Castro was still in the early stages of his plan.  If I remeber right, he wasn't even a clone yes.  Jesse Jackson, was possibly he first attemp, but his clone was sucha mess that he was forced to become aDemocrat and supress his own people.  Bakc at this time, most of the ill recieves and often badly mutated clones were just passed off as royals and teh deformities credited to inbreeding.  Even still teh effects permiate our society; just look at Clay Aiken.

So They didn't show up to try and "fix" teh heater/AC today... finally.  It seems like they were here just about every day the past two week.

I am haivng to pull an all nighter to get this Ghost writing thing done.  I have a few cans of red Bull, an apple and four bags of licorice to help me along.  Although I am saving one can of Red bull incase I need it at work tomorrow.

Echo isn't feeling well.  She has a fever and was so sick that she actually enjoyed Corpse Bride.  It was quite a waste of my Birthday Best buy gift card... which brings me to teh crappy thing about Gift cards.  I bought one thing and have liek $6 bucks left on the card.  You know what costs $6 at Best BUy?  NOTHING.. Absafreakingloutly NOTHING.

Now some would say, "don't complain about a gift, but if i remeber right, I SPECIFICALLY SAID I didn't want ANY gifts.  SO not only was I insulted once by having a reminded or how crappy life life has been for the past 29 yeard been handed to me as a "gift," I will have to spend more of my own money to actually use the full gift. 

Carrie did better with her gift card to Barnes and Nobel.  She only has a dollar or so left; but then, she was fine with getting presents.

At Christmas, the J.C. Penny gift card cost us a good $50.  No wonder every store in the Universe likes these cards.

One person gave us an Albertson's gift card.  That makes sense.  We would be buying groceries anyway, and our bill is generally more than the gift card is worth; so it will be like getting that much of a discount...

ANYWAY... My clothes are getting too  big for me.  I'm pretty sure it isn't that noticeable to anyone unless I'm naked (Don't cringe, you know you all want to see it), but I totally notice it with my clothes.  My pants fall down just walking down the stairs if I don't hold them up... and that is with the belt as tight as it will go...

Well I need to get to work, so I don't have to pull another all nighter tomorrow.

FIN

Ok... so I mentioned that I was on the absolutely smallest belt hole, and now, while doing my BootCamp work out I have another problem.  My shorts and Garment bottoms keep sliding down.  They would fall off if i'd let them.  Luckily I have some tighty whitey's I purchased to wear for my Volley Ball class back in college.  They are a little looser than they were back in the day, but, at least they stay on.  My shorts still slide a bit, but not as much as they were...

As for the heater...

Yes and no on the Fix.  They were here yesterday for 10 hours and then today for about 3.  I don't knoe what exactly is wrong, but they say they are coming back again next week. 

Anyway...

SO basically that is my life... My clothes keep falling down/off and I am annoyed that the workers aren't done.

I'm going to bed.

FIN.

SO last ngiht the house was FREEZING.  ANd anyone who knows me, knows that I am a shorts and T-shirt guy year round... Anyway.. It was OCLD, so we tried getting the heater to kick on... No luck...

FOr an hour we try and try and try...

Umm... I'm bored with this story... Never mind...

The person just above me at work had his third "snip-snip" this past weekend.  The anisthetic kept wearing off during the procedure... That just sounds NUTS!

 

Kids are crazy, and I'm tired... adn not teh Make a funny blog becasue I'm out of it tired... Just need some sleep don't mess with me tired...

I went over an hour at work today withotu getting an e-mail.  I have been keeping up with the workload, so it was really boring to have a whole hour with NOTHING happeing... Oh well, better nothing than too much...

FIN

Ok.. I started my new job this week, despite the fact that I had my first gout attack in 4 years.  On sunday it was so bad that I couldn't even put weight on my foot.  It started to clear up on monday afternoon, but it is still a tad "gouty" today...
Carrie and I still managed to workout during the first few days of the attack, but after Mondya, it was just too much, so I feel a little out of shape again...

Not to mention that my new job consists of sitting in a comfy office chair (thank you Ryan for finding a good chair for me) and playing on-line (again thank you ryan for finding me a cool job like that).

ANyway... since there is much confusion about what I do now let me expalin.  First you will probably want to go to www.daz3d.com.  See all that fun cool 3d rendered stuff?  Well, I represent the artists who made that stuff.  Like an editor at a publishign company, or a casting director/talent agent with acting, I manage and help teh artists trying to work with DAZ.  Because all teh artists work on computers, for a company that sells stuff on computers, most of my work involves sitting at a computer.  I hang out in the DAZ Published Artist Forum, where i can address group concerns and help the artists feel loved.  Beyond that I answer emails from artists regarding work they have in various stages of production, from early on wanting some direction and advice, to fully finished and upset at teh changes we are asking for.

Occasionally one of the artists will want to talk on the phone and calls DAZ.  It is basically like answering their e-mails only they get to hear my sexy voice.  ANYWAY... it seems like it will be a good interesting job in a growing company.

 

Now to the fam. actually... I'll try to blog abotu them tomorrow...

FIN

Happy BIRTHDAY!!!! there ... I saved you two words...

TOday is my birthday... I'm not particularly fond of birthdays anymore; and I think I know why...

Growing up there were always birthdays to look forward to:

5 start kindergarten

8 baptized

10- double digits

12- deacon- no more primary

13- teenager

14- teacher

16- preist/ drivers license

18- adult

19-- mission

21- legally able to do anything...

and now... welll nothing...

All another birthday means is OLDER...

29 just means I am one year from 30 wich means I can't even pretend I'm young and hip anymore...

I'm not crushed by this; it isn't like I'm sitting home moping in front of my computer... I'm just annoyed and in the back of my mind, it sits and bothers me...

Anyway...

FIN

Ok... as many of you know tommorow is the day we commemorate that I have officially spent another year on this earth wasting space and pretty much not accomplishing much of anything...

FIrst off let's get teh party details out... STEWFEST at Judy's house... I'm thinking 6ish... but not positive...

I know it is counter intuitive for me to cook stew on my Birthday; but I really don't see a better option... AND It has been SOOO long... it isn't like I'm going to enjoy getting older anyway; so I might as well make some other people happy...This brings us to presents... I don't really want any... they just make me feel bad and old...

Unless it is somethign thought induced... I.E. you saw it and just HAD to get it for me, or you remembered somethign that would be a fun memory to share and the ilk... otherwise; please don't worry, or bother... thanks...

Now my life in review...

1977--The Year Star Wars Came out... Apparently I was born this year... really I don't remeber it happening, so I can't be sure.. knowing my parents; it probably didn't actually happen. 

1978-- Apparently I was reading writing and pooping inthe pot by the time this year rolled around... I know we moved to Utah and so part of my soul was lost... Actually like 1977 this year probably didn't actually happen.

1979-  My idealic world of joy was shattered on March 6th of this year when an alien invader arrived... I KNOW this happend... I have been rueing the event ever since...

1980- Nothing happened... I'm not sure I was there...

1981- I turned four...not sure i was there... maybe I was in the restroom when it happened.

1982-- Parents split... or did the year before... I think Mom broke a mug...Started School at Jauquin Elementary...

1983-- Finished kindergarten... this year is important as I made my first batch of Stew... it wouold be MANY years before I recreate this experience... and this is the stew I long for.  Each child in my Kindergarten class was responsible for an ingredient... I think I had to bring Boullion... beef; not gold... we mixed up the stew and ate it... it was a great experience...

Also this year began my total fear of teachers and authority figures.  One day the teacher got mad at me and I had to put my head down becasue of soemthing I apparently did... I didn't know what it was then; and I don't know what it is now... all I know is that the system is corrupt and unjust...

1984- Back in California... My soul is complete... lots of fun; my class won the newspaper drive... ANd Andy and I met Frog Hand and the crazy magician next door who made the Statue of liberty dissapear on the the card I wrote my name on...

1985-- This is the year Doc Brown perfected his time machine and Andy and I had to travel back to 1955 to make sure our parents got together... needless to say hilarity ensued.

1986-Jake o Shawnessey... my first play.  I was dissapointed, becasue I really wanted the part of the owl; but I got stuck in the lead... The acting bug hit.

1987- blah blah.VH1 might love the 80's but they are all the same to me...

1988-- I think something may or maynot have happened this year... Bush #1 won the election... I was VERY happy...By this time I was in GEM and knew April... although I think she was in the OTHER GEM class...

1989--I'm twelve this year... I think... hang on lemme count again...Ok... yeah... twelve...

I was ordained a deacon... and had a laughing fit while passing the sacrament... It wasn't that I was inherently irreverent; but one of the other deacons was about to get three sacrament trays and in my mind I pictured him trying to manage holding all three without spilling anything... it was truly a funny scene... You would have laughed too...

1990-- This was a miserable time. I hated school; I hated life; i was fat ugly and bored... intolerabley BORED.  School was easy but the teachers assigned hours of pointless busy work... Ms. Welmers was good and taught two of my classes... and she smokes LONG thin cigars... although not in class...

1991-- teenager... still acting... getting good grades.. being a nerd... geek... whatever... then I finally GOT contact lenses... That event would CHange my life.  I wish I had gotten them sooner.  the burden of my thick nerdy glasses was killing my self image and confidence... a few years of contacts would have saved me twice the years of therapy... not to mention the image killing excuse of "I don't think you will keeep them clean"... as if I wasn't having enough troubles to have my mother tellign me she thought I was a nasty dirty slob... thanks...

Kendra and I went to the 8th grade graduation dance...

1992-Finished 9th grade... Highschool was good... recieved popular adn critical acclaim for my role in "Any Numebr Can Die"-- Edgars ROCKS...

1993- GOt my Driver's License... Parents got remarried... not a happy time... Changed schools... went from Mt View to... MT. View...hmmm...

1994-  Still in Utah... Finally accepted into the inner circle...or the "Clique" as it were... Made my FIrst batch of WORLD FAMOUS STEW...

1995-  STEW STEW We ALL LOVe stew even if it is not new.. STEW STEW let's all Eat Stew... we love to eat my STEW!!!

Hamlet the Budgetless version... was not just AWSOME... it was TEH ROXXORS 1337 !!!

Started BYU despite my strong desire to go to USC and study Film... had a 4.0...

1996- Left for Baltimore... had lots of missionary stuff happen... baptisms and all that...

1997- My mission president went crazy and made my mission much harder... got a new pres and things were instantly improved... Came home in time for a very awkward and surreal Christmas.

1998- Back at BYU change to English Major.... Meet Carrie... date a few (not nearly enough) girls... working on the shyness issue... After two years on he mission; I am feelingthe acitng bug BAD... so I audition for a mainstage play (just to get a practice audition in) and MUCH to my suprise I am cast in "Barefoot in the Park." the show gets univerally bad reviews despite the fact atht each review notes ME as teh only highlight (an unfortunate trend in my BYU productions) the rest of the cast wants me dead; accuse me of sleeping with the reviewers then forgive me for being so dang funny...

1999- School for scandal... at least I wasn't the ONLY one who people liked in this also panned play... although I was the most notable and the reason many people even bothered to hang around after intermission... 

2000-- Brought in the new year in style in DIsney World... big bash... unfortuantely no one to kiss...

Married Carrie by the end; so it all worked out anyway...

2001- Graduated from BYU with a useless degree... moved to Houston where I broke into the stand up comedy world with, once again rave reviews... unfortuantely Busbyberkly was in the Hosiptal and so I stopped going to the comedy club...

2002- I take a deep step into hell as I move to WInter Haven Florida... one of the biggest mistakes of my life... Pay 70$ (borrowed from Judy) and become a "Highly qualified teacher" 

2003- Still teaching... Echo born

2004- Still teaching...3 hurricanes come through making out life completely MORE miserable... if we thought it couldn't get worse we were wrong... Hurricanes make it worse...

2005- I finally havea  job I can be proud of.  I work at Rhino Video games... my stay is cut short when the hours that eh "school" I teach at change... Make the wrong choice and keep teaching... Then I hook up with Thompson Multi-media to do some ghost writing... things start out really good; but end on a sour note as I get screwed over by one dude and then have a shortage fo projects... end the year on a high note, moving to Utah...

2006- I'm not completely Bald, or completely old... Started excercise program, and after a week and a half am already on the smallest belt hole on my belt...

so come enjoy some Stew and misery...

FIn

For thepast four night; sCarrie and I have been goign through Boot Camp...

Ok; not The "Real" thing... we leave that to Luke and Josh...But Crunch's Boot Camp Workout DVD...

 Click on it to see it...

Anyway... I find it a good mix of cardio and Weights... I follow it up with about 10 minutes of basic Yoga- no floating or standing On my head or anything... just some stretches and breathing...

anyway... I used to do the workout.. I managed abotu 3 weeks of it once with out disruption; but mostly is has been sporatic.  I am trying harder to keep it goign this time.  Tonight was day 4 and I am getting MUCH better at it... althoguht my Shoulders still burn... A TON of shoulder work inthis one... that could be my only real complaint about the overall workout... a tad too much shoulder work... anyway... I'm feeling the good effects already... Althoguh day two was BAD... I was sour and tired.  It was impossible for me to make it through the workout...

I had to take a coupel breaks... Tongiht; I dodn't take any breaks.  I didn't move at the highest intensity the WHOLE time; but I maintained enough that I was doing well... I'll work on intensity as I get better at just finishing the whole thing...

 

A new episode of Phil of the Future was on tongiht as well... Just thought you all should know...  I tried watchign Star Wars Episode 3 (thank you Libby for reminding me how VERY good this movie was) today at Judy's... First of all; it looks AMAZING on the Plasma TV... but then the Comcast guy showed up, and I had to deal with all of that... he was the wrong guy and so Paco had to come out... (He was VERY grateful that David was Gone) Paco flirted with LeeAnn and left his PERSONAL Cell phone number for her... after his many questions about George and where he was...  Appartently Paco is married; and LeeAnn didn't seem too interested, so I'm not sure it will work out... Too bad; Paco was pretty cool (not to say that George isn't cool... but seriously PACO... how cool a name is that?!?)

anyway... I'm T-I-URD!

Peace out Homies!

FIN

 

I rearranged my Blog so you can better see the Big picture of my face.  If I could make it bigger and more THERE; I would... I don't like my current background... I only put the dark one on to reflect my mood at the time... this is brighter; but dosen't reflect that this will be "MY YEAR"... any help on that would be greatly appreciated...

LeeAnn gave me "TAG: The Assassination Game" on DVD for CHristmas; so now I have the ULTIMATE collection of Great "LAME" movies...

Oh yeah.. and Reed... when the Blog asks "Delete MSN Space?" Click "NO!!!!"

FIN

This is MY year.  I thought it would be my year last year, and the year before that... and the year before that.  Frankly I have thought it would be MY YEAR every year since I was old enough to care.  Unfortunately each and every year tends to end in bitter dissapointment and spite... I am guessing a large deal of that comes from teh fact that my birthday is a mere 19 days after Christmas, so I grew conditioned to getting, "I'll get you birthday presents when I have money again." for my birthday and turning another year older.  I am not saying that as an adult presents are a main focus; but as a child such events leave a lasting imprint.  I think my mind can just sense my birthday coming around and turns on all it's moping anti-dissapointment defenses.  Add this conditioned response to the fact that EVERYONE is reflecting on the past this time of the year; so I look at my life at the same time I commemorate another year down the drain...

I guess I could have it worse... I get all this New Year's Crap abotu the same time as my birthday; so I can kill two stones with one bird (Read between the lines COPPER!)

But Reflecting while you are depressed is never a good idea.  But enough of that... THIS IS MY YEAR... Maybe I'll end this year like I have ended my past "my years" miseable and depressed; but maybe I won't.  Why sould I give up on the dream?  It isn't like giving up is goign to make my life miserable... that is the one good thing abotu having a messed up life... it really gets to a point where it is hard for it to be worse.

Anyway... worse-easier- life all that crap is silly; I firmly believe we are given what we need in life, thus harder is irrelevant as each of us is unique and different...

But anyway... This Is MY year.  I don't know what that mean exactly...I just know it has to lbe good.  This can be your year too.  It isn't like a DQ Heath Bar BLizzard that I can only share so much before I have to spend another 5 bucks to get one... No... The year is basically inifinite in it's ability to give...

and this year; I'M TAKING!!!

Some people would probably have settled with some of my past years...

1995- Wrote-produced my own play- Graduated HS- Got into BYU had a 4.0 at BYU

1996-Was one of the youngest missionaries in the MTC- had more baptisms in my first year than most missionaries on their whole mission

1997-Was the first person on my mission to finish the BofM on New Years... continued to baptise like crazy

1998- made my mark on the BYU theatre world- Actaully went on some "real" dates-Met Carrie

1999- Went to Disney World with My Friends for the year 2000 celebration fulfilling a HS promise we made.

2000- Continued to excell in BYU theatre and film.  Gained a rep in the English Dept. Was finally a big enough man on campus that Carrie stopped ignoring me and decided she wanted to date me. Ended in marriage and Honeymoon at disneyland.

2001-  Rocked the stage at Houston's Laugh stop. Avalon Publishing wanted my novel (until Sept. 11th--I had mailed it to them on Sept 8th)

2002- Became a "Highly qualified teacher" by simply paying the state $70...Nto sucha  good year.

2003- Made it to a few final quditions with Dinsey and other professional theatres around central Fla. Still in Fla... Started the "FCAT BOYZ" boy band of teachers performing to huge crowds about Test preparation... VERY popular in the district. Put me in the "administration track" career path.

2004- really not my year at all... FCAT boys were big; but other than that things were BAD...

2005-- Was supposed to "be my Year" but I was still in Florida... Got a job Ghost writing... Basically writing stuff for people and giving them credit in exhange for currency--  FInally quit teaching and got out of Florida...

2006-- MY YEAR... I don't knwo what will happen YET.. but it will be BIG... I'm ready for it.  I have been warming up for this year for almost 29 years... and it's my time... I'm ready and I'm going to make it happen...

so look out.. If you are sitting on the complacency train; or idly twiddling your thumbs content with what life has dealt you; watch out... I'm moving and shaking and this is MY YEAR!

2004-

 

OK... I never did find those Q-tips; but I did find  pen that at least temporarily relieved my need... I won't go into details, but You probably shouldn't ask to borrow a pen...

I have now discovered my new favorite show... I know this happens every few days... it is... wait for it... Ok.. well teh titel of the blog really ruiined it and gave it all away... Phil of the Future... Not sure why I like it... Perhaps it is becasue it is produced by Fred Savage, or that Pym reminds me of Libby... or maybe my heart is just two sizes too small... In anycase; Disney was running a marathon this afternoon and I was able to indulge in a good few hours of the show... It certainly cleared my brain... speaking of famous actors producing shows... that new show after LOST -Invasion (Pronounced In-vass-EE-OWN)-- is produced or created by Saun Cassidy... I am curious if that is the saun Cassidy of Partridge family fame... It is a bit disturbing to picture Keith Partridge helming the show... but it is interesting.

On the same topic, we watched Baptist at My BBQ tonight... I would NOT reccomend that movie to anyone interested in watching a good movie.  It was boring at best adn tedius the rest of the time.  The only highlight was that my friend Diane Rane (Pronounced Rain) was in it.  SO after first seeing her; all I cared abotu was getting to the closing credits to make sure it was really her (it was--she plays the new Branch President's wife)

anyway... so now I am in a depressed Jelous mood because another of my Friends from BYU is in a movie and I'm not...

Add to that the fact that I will be 29 in two weeks... I'm old fat and unsuccessful...My car is almost on Empty, I haven't showered in 3 days and I still need a freaking Q-tip...

If you asked me when I was 18 where I thougth my life would be ten years down the road I would have NEVER guessed where I actually am... and If you showed me where I am; I probably would have opted out back then...Maybe it will get better?  Or maybe I'll just settle into a mundane existence of obscurity... one of the many pathetic beings going throught he motions each and every day because they don't have much of a choice. I really thought I had a choice... At times I dream that my life is like in teh Matrix, or the Island... that somehow this reality is just a mask of something else.  Something more fulfilling... soemthign less absurd.

The existentialists weren't completely right; but even for a believer the absurd life seems to be the status quo...People wonder why I sometimes drift off on the fantastic stories abotu Super man and the lone Ranger and clones of Fidel Castro; but that IS LIFE... that is Truth; as far the common wourld would understand.  What is life but a series of made up adventures, narrated by a twisted tounge and courage.  There is one truth and infinite possibilities... This is life real or not; it is all fake... absurd as it were...and we all walk along teh rope, hoping that somehow when we get to the next platform, it will be our last... or that the next rope will be somehow different...That the next leap will be the leap home...

In Phil of the Future today, Phil (who is extremely short BTW) wasn't so sure he wanted to go "home" any more...That's the thing with progression; you can't go back...it isn't there any more.. PAst is an illusion, a fascade, a dream. 

What i wouldn't give for a Freaking Q-tip... and a bag of ice... and a tank of gas...

FIN